April 15, 2025
by Dr. Cindy H. Carr, D.Min.
I hear a lot today about screen time and raising kids. When our girls were growing up, this
was one of the few things my husband and I didn’t agree on. After a long day, he wanted that TV on. To him, it was relaxation. To me, it was noise. At the time, I didn’t see the value in it—but as the years have passed, I’ve changed. These days I love curling up beside him,
sinking into someone else’s story for a while, and letting the world fade for an hour.
Somewhere along the way, I realized that screens aren’t the enemy—disconnection is. And sometimes, a shared show, a family movie, or even scrolling through vacation videos
together can be connection in disguise.
Parents today live under a microscope. Between school projects, sports, meal prep,
housework, and two full-time jobs, family life can feel like a treadmill. So when experts
warn, “Too much screen time will ruin your kids,” many parents hear yet nother judgment
on top of an already impossible load.
But research actually paints a much more nuanced picture. Oxford University (2019) found that moderate screen use was linked to better mental well-being than no screen use at all.
KidsHealth NZ and Internet Matters note that educational games and shared screen
experiences can enhance learning, creativity, and social bonds when used intentionally. APA (2025) reminds us that negative outcomes tend to appear with excessive, unmonitored use, not reasonable daily engagement.
During the pandemic, children and teens who were socially isolated often built meaningful, supportive online networks. Studies from Liebert Publishing (2025) and Stanford Medicine (2022) found that online friendships can provide real emotional support—particularly for youth with fewer offline connections. For kids dealing with chronic illness, distance, or anxiety, digital communities became lifelines rather than liabilities. Parents who recognize this difference—between connection and distraction—can help children use digital spaces to practice empathy, communication, and creativity.
Yes, there are valid concerns. JAMA Pediatrics (2024) found that prolonged, unsupervised
screen exposure in toddlers reduced parent–child verbal interactions. Studies link excessive use (over four hours daily) with increased anxiety, sleep disruption, and attention problems. But again—context matters. The same screen can host either an enriching family movie or a mind-numbing doom-scroll. The difference lies in presence—is the family using it together, or hiding behind it?
Maybe the better question isn’t “How do I cut screens out?” but “How can I make them work for us?” Practical takeaways for parents:
1. Co-view and converse – Watch together. Ask questions. Turn entertainment into
conversation.
2. Set rhythms, not rigid rules – A family “tech Sabbath” once a week can reset balance
without shame.
3. Model healthy use – When adults unplug intentionally, kids learn that screens are tools,
not masters.
4. Use the good stuff – Educational shows, faith-based programs, creative apps, and AI tools (yes!) can inspire learning.
I used to believe “too much TV” would ruin a family. Now, after decades of ministry,
counseling, and raising kids, I see that it’s usually not the screen that harms
relationships—it’s the absence of shared time, grace, and laughter. I think of the evenings
when my husband and I unwind with a show after dinner. We talk. We laugh. Sometimes I
cry—and oh, the times the whole family has laughed at Mom crying again over a show.
The TV may be on, but connection is happening. Maybe that’s what families need permission to embrace: not more guilt, but more grace.
Technology, like anything else, reflects the heart that uses it. In the right hands, screens can educate, inspire, and connect. They can give weary parents rest and isolated children friendship. Maybe instead of waging war on devices, we can teach our families to use them wisely—and remember that presence, love, and moderation never go out of style.
“All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial.” — 1 Corinthians 10:23
References & Suggested Reading
American Psychological Association (2025). Children, adolescents, and screens: guidance for balanced use.
Domoff, S. E. et al. (2024). Parent–child interaction and early screen exposure. JAMA
Pediatrics.
Przybylski, A. K. & Weinstein, N. (2019). Digital screen time and mental well-being.
University of Oxford.
Internet Matters (2023). Screen time: finding the balance for your family.
Liebert Publishing (2025). Real Emotions: Exploring Online Social Connections and
Adolescent Mental Health.
Stanford Medicine (2022). Screen time: the good, the healthy, and the mind-numbing.
KidsHealth New Zealand (2024). Positive aspects of screen time for children and young
people.
Frontiers in Developmental Psychology (2024). Parental presence and language
development in the digital age.
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